Mourning Pansy's Opus

            I’ve been struggling with something the past few months and I finally had to confront it.  I used to have a sweet neighbor from Hong Kong across the street.  Her name was Pansy and she had the most magnificent yard in the whole neighborhood.  Pansy was in her 80’s, a widow, and had flawless pale skin and wispy, sophisticated silver hair that she always wore pulled back in a loose bun.  On Saturday mornings I would often hear the twangy, dissonant sounds of tai chi music as she taught students in her backyard.  She had taught at the local community college for years.

            Pansy took the stove out of her house when she remodeled years ago because she didn’t bake.  Her passion was gardening.  Every inch of her little quarter acre was lovingly planned and cultivated.  She had gardeners who managed the manicured hedges but she was always fussing at them because they never got it right.  She liked it just so.  The beds in the front yard were filled with purple and green oyster plant and a short variety of Mother in law’s tongue (sansevieria).  Everything in perfect proportion in color and height.  

Her side yard, which I looked at every day, had a huge shock of orange and pink heliconia along with  bird of paradise.  An imposing hedge of purple bouganvilla put a nice buffer between our yards.  From my kitchen window I had a view of the most effective agave border.  I had never seen it used in such a dramatic way- and it bloomed.  She told me once how often- every 10 years I think.  The blooms would shoot up about 6-8 feet in the air and I always got out my camera for the show when it did. 

She often invited me into her backyard for tea, where I would covet her bromiliads.  Varieties upon varieties.  Red, variegated, spotted, black, pink- everywhere.  There were ginger plants, succulents, fruit trees and ferns.  When her husband was alive they installed a waterfall which blended in seamlessly and felt as if it was natural.  Little stepping stones led to a white gazebo where she kept her orchids. 

One afternoon I went over to say hello to Pansy as I often did.  Just to touch base and be a friend.  She complained that she had just come out of the hospital and I chided her for not calling me to take her.  She had called someone else.  She had terrible stomach pain but she was feeling a little better so she decided to check herself out of the hospital.  Her homemade Chinese herbal remedies would be much better for her than the doctor’s poking and prodding.  It was Christmastime and I went back to the mainland to be with my family.  While I was there I got an e-mail from another neighbor.  Pansy had passed away.  Stomach cancer.  It was sudden.  I didn’t even get to attend her memorial service because we weren’t in town.  So just like that, Pansy was gone.  Out of my life.  But not really. The beauty in her yard continued to bring me a lot of joy.

             The house sat empty but her family paid the gardeners to maintain the yard while it was on the market, not quite as meticulously as when Pansy was here but almost. It looked lovely and reminded me of her.  I would go over and cut heliconia and weed the side yard to keep it tidy.  Of course, with no stove, it took a long time to sell.  Finally, after more than a year there was a buyer. 

When I met them the first thing I said was “you must the thrilled with the yard.  Imagine owning a home that is already meticulously landscaped and has 30 years of mature growth- a waterfall and a gazebo!  Pansy was a master gardener. Her yard was her opus.  It was one of the major selling points for you, wasn’t it? Are you plant lovers?”   

“No, actually, we hate the plants.  We don’t want to have to do any yardwork so we’re ripping out the plants and paving the whole yard.   We’re bulldozing the waterfall and tearing down the gazebo."   I was stunned and hoped that they would decide against it.  Unfortunately, one morning we heard a bull dozer and sure enough, everything in it’s path was doomed for the landfill. 

It became apparent that they were going to rip out every single plant so I went over and shamelessly asked if I could rescue some bromeliads.  I worked for half an afternoon saving as many as I could from the dump truck. The neighbors were destroying Pansy’s masterpiece- her yard.   It was unnatural.  In my more dramatic moments I thought that it was almost as if they had something against life itself. 

            Every day as I looked out of my window and drove past the house, new offenses to my well-developed sense of aesthetics started piling up. Laundry hanging out in the garage with the door up, trash cans on display in the front yard.  Junk left on the side of the house.  Weeds growing taller by the week. One day I got so distressed at the height of the grass where the agave hedge and bougainvillea used to be, that I got out all of my extension cords and cut the whole lawn- what was left- with a weed whacker.

Formerly landscaped side yard with flowers.

           Can you see what I was doing?  I was keeping a record of wrongs. They weren’t even really wrongs, they were just little sadnesses to me. Things weren’t going according to my expectations and I was disappointed.  Anger started to grow in the garden of my heart as I resented what they had done to Pansy’s memory and to the view I had enjoyed from my house. Anger was causing me to sin.  How could I see past and show love?

            I finally realized that anger had taken hold and that it was causing me to harden my heart against my neighbors.  I started to pray that the Lord would soften me and let me see the situation as He saw it.   The first thing He reminded me of was that I was seeing a real life illustration of what my sin looks like to Him and how it makes Him feel.  My resentment and anger were just as offensive to Him as their yard had become to me.   When I choose to disregard and neglect the beauty of His Word, it saddens Him.  He knows what could be.  He sees how much more lovely and fruitful my life could be if I cultivated His word instead of paving over it with the things of this world.  Secondly, He chastised me for allowing the temporal to cloud my view of the eternal.  Satan had almost taken me out on this one.  I got so myopic and selfish that I wasn’t seeing the heart of my neighbors and I wasn’t reaching out in love to them.  Thankfully, we serve a God of second chances.  He specializes in U-turns and when people repent he promises to forgive and restore.   (1 John 1:9)

            I wish I could tell you that they have hired a professional landscaper, cleaned up the junk and everything is bright and cheery over here.  It's not.  But that’s ok. Actually, it's not okay, I still struggle with feelings of resentment but I'm choosing to let the Lord get inside my heart and do some rearranging.   The Lord has given me a daily reminder of the effects of my sin and a renewed heart of love for the people he said I should be loving the most after Him- my neighbors.   

Flowering Deadwood

            I am doing the Amazing Collection Bible Study on the Pentateuch right now. I highly recommend it!   The Pentateuch is a fancy name for the first 5 books of the Bible: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy.  Many people are familiar with Genesis and Exodus but let's face it, Numbers and Deuteronomy don't get around much.  And Leviticus?  Only for the diehard.  You lost me at the burnt offerings.  At least, that's what it can feel like if you read these books on your own.   I've found it to be extremely helpful to study these books in a group like this or listen to sermons about them and read commentaries. There are a lot of amazing concepts in these books that can be lost on us because we live so far out of the original context.   But once we start learning what the books were saying to the people they were originally written for, we  begin to see God's exquisite hand.  His perfect plan of redemption is revealed starting in the beginning and running all the way through the entire Bible. These books have applications for our lives today!  Did you know that studying Leviticus will give you great insight into Hebrews?  Those burnt offerings? Very significant.

            This week we are in Numbers.  Wow.  There is so much in here!  One story has taken up residence in my mind and I've been meditating on it for a while now.  It's the story of Aaron's staff in Numbers 16-17.  Aaron was Moses' brother and the high priest in Israel.  Right before this story, Korah, who was a prominent Levite, and some other rebels challenged Moses' and Aaron's authority.   This was a dangerous thing to do because God had give this authority to Moses and Aaron.  So, in effect, these rebels were challenging God. You'd think that by now the Israelites would know not to do this.   Unfortunately, grumbling and complaining were their constant reaction when they didn't understand what God was doing.  So, instead of believing that God had appointed Moses and Aaron for His own perfect reasons, they raised their fists at Him and God judged them. At first, God said He would destroy all of them by a plague but Aaron offered incense and made atonement for the people.  In fact, Numbers says that Aaron stood between the living and the dead and God stopped the plague.    Just as Aaron stood between the living and the dead as an intercessor, Jesus (our Great High Priest) stands between life and death as our only hope of mediation between God and man and salvation.  

             Here's the other part that I love.  God puts an exclaimation point on this story by sending an instructive sign to Israel- and to us.  He tells Moses to tell all of the leaders from the twelve tribes to bring their walking sticks, mark them with their names and put them in front of the holy place over night.  They were to watch to see which one of these budded- because that would indicate which man God had chosen to be the holy high priest.  In the morning, they awoke and Aaron's staff had not only budded- it had sprouted, blossomed and produced almonds!   Way to go God!  This stick which everyone knew to be dead, was not only alive but thriving and reproducing!  

              Neat story but what does that mean for me today? Well, for me, there are a couple of applications.  First, I am like that dead stick.  There is nothing in me that is special or prone to budding.  I have the same chance as any other dead stick of becoming holy or producing buds on my own- none.  There is nothing in me that is holy.  But, because of a Holy God and His work in me, I have life.  Not only that, but He causes me to thrive when I am in Him.  The common and unholy is made holy by the power of the one who is Holiness itself.  In Revelation, the angels cry "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty!"  This tri-repetitious Hebrew literary device is only used about one character trait of God- his holiness.  Aaron's staff was not returned to Him.  It was kept in the Ark of the covenant along with the stone commandments and the golden jar of manna as reminders of God's provision, law and holiness.  Aaron's budding staff is still a reminder of the power of God to bring holy life to his people.   

            Second, God may bless the work I do and make me fruitful, but it is only because of His grace and mercy,  not because of anything I add to the picture.  Any part of my being that is productive is only because of God's work in me, for without Him I can do nothing.  (John 15:5)  This is a great relief and blessing to me.  It is not all up to me to strive to make all things in my life "work out."  It is only up to me to choose to obey and follow the Lord's leading and rest in his plan for me.  So, I thank the Lord for taking a dead, unholy little stick like me and giving it life so that He would receive glory.  

Helping Your Kids Choose Close Friends Wisely

“The righteous choose their friends carefully but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
Proverbs 12:26

”Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

You can’t choose your children’s friends but you can help them choose close friends wisely.  One of the things that my husband and I agreed on early in our marriage was that we would parent deliberately.  We thought about all of the ways people prepare and plan for big tasks in their lives- weddings, SAT’s, medical boards, driver’s licenses- and yet how easy it is to slide into parenting without a game plan.  So, we spend a lot of time talking about how and why we are doing the things we are doing with our children.  Each phase of life requires re-evaluation and preparation.  Time is so short with them and we want to be good stewards of the responsibility He’s given us. 

Friends are one of those areas.  When kids are little it’s easy to arrange playgroups and be aware of the people they interact with, especially other children.  But as they get older, it becomes a little more difficult.  We see in Proverbs and

1st Corinthians that God has plenty to say to us about friends and how we choose them.  These are important concepts to pass on to our children.  First of all, we are told to choose our friends carefully because otherwise we may be led astray.  Next, we are warned against being deceived into thinking we can be around bad company and not be affected.  Teenagers can be especially vulnerable to both of these pitfalls.

This is where we’ve started implementing some strategies that you may want to consider as well.

1.     Pray for close Christian friends for your children.  God has been so faithful to our family in this regard.  My daughter has had three close friends move in the past two years but each one moved in just as the other was moving out.  He provided friendships in His perfect timing.    He listens and knows the desires of your heart. 

2.     Cultivate family relationships.  Friendships are very important and should be encouraged but we always have to keep in mind that our relationships with siblings and parents will last a lifetime.  Many parents in the name of “letting their children grow up” actually let them grow away from the family during the teenage years.  They buy into the myth that kids can only mature outside of their parents. I believe it’s just the opposite.  Now is the time to give them as much freedom as possible while providing as much support and guidance as possible.  

3.     Be the gatekeeper for your children’s heart. You’re the parent.  You can set ground rules about who is allowed to influence them.  This is especially important for older children who are forming worldviews.  Encourage your children to be kind and loving to all but to be very selective when it comes to forming close friendships.  You can help by observing your children’s friends and keeping an open dialog with them about what’s going on with their friendships.  Don’t be deceived into thinking that your child won’t be affected by humanistic worldviews if that’s what they hear all day from the people they are around.   We’ve had to make some difficult decisions to remove our children from certain situations where negative influences were creeping in and it has been one of the best things we’ve ever done for them.

4.     Get involved in their lives and the lives of the kids they like to be with.  Make your house the cool place to be.   The safe place for friends to hang out.  If you are cultivating family relationships your children will likely enjoy spending time with you and sharing your family life with others.   This can also be a great opportunity to be a model and show love to your children’s friends.

5.     Keep communication open so kids will feel free to come to you with questions and concerns. When kids know that you have their best interest in mind, that you will love them no matter what, and that you will speak the truth, they have freedom to view you as their best advisor.  When kids decide that their parents aren’t really that wise, available or interested, they begin to listen to their peers more and get led astray.

6.     Guide them toward places where they will likely encounter friends who will build them up and encourage them to follow Christ.  As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.   This seems like a no brainer but if your kids aren’t around other Christians it can be hard to grow.  They don’t have to do things exclusively with Christians but the people they spend the most time with are going to influence them the most.  Jesus modeled this for us.  He was very selective about the friends he brought into his inner circle but he was loving to all and spent time investing in friendships with all sorts of people.  He was in the world but not of it.    Christian schools, home school groups, church, para-church organizations and school clubs are good places to find friends for your children’s hearts. 

7.     Have frank discussions about friendships.  What is a friend? What are important qualities in a friend?  How can you be a friend to others?  What kinds of people do you think you should let into your inner circle of folks who influence you?  How can you be a friend to those who believe very differently from you without compromising your faith?  

8.     Import friends.  Find like-minded families and get together.   There are other families out there who are parenting deliberately.  You’re not the only one who is choosing to use these teenage years to grow closer to your children rather than farther apart.  Find these families and cultivate relationships.  Do whatever you need to do to make it easy for your children to develop friendships with children you believe to be good influences. 

Again, you can’t choose your children’s friends for them but you can shape their environment so they have the tools in their box they need to make wise decisions about close friends.   

Cozying up with Foxe’s Book of Martyrs

The Christian Martyrs' Last Prayer by Jean-Leon Gerome, 1883

            There are some books that make you want to curl up with a cup of tea and enjoy.  Foxe’s Book of Martyrs is not one of those books.  It makes you squirm.  John Foxe lived in the 1500’s and was a student of church history.  When Bloody Mary, Queen of Scotts came to power in England, she was determined to crush the Protestant church.  Foxe, a protesting Catholic, fled to Europe.  While in exile, he began to compile the stories of Christian martyrs starting with the first martyr, Stephen, and continuing to the years preceding John Wycliffe, the Morning Star of the Reformation.  Upon Mary’s death Foxe returned to England and continued cataloguing the brutal suffering and deaths of the saints under her rule.  This compilation has been revised and added to over the years and is now called “Foxe’s Book of Martyrs”.  Newer versions include martyrs up to the twenty first century.   Page after page recounts the stories of Christians burned, boiled, cut into pieces, flogged, kidnapped, beaten, tortured, starved, imprisoned, exiled, discriminated against, and shot.

            Why would one want to read such a book- or assign it to their 9^th grader?  (This was what my 9^th grader asked.)  Actually, he is an avid reader and although martyrdom is not his favorite genre he acquiesced.  Let me back up a bit here.  Our school is classical/eclectic, in that I employ lots of different teaching methods but overall I am following the classical model of education.  This model is known for three stages of education: grammar, logic and rhetoric.  A high value is placed on studying original sources as opposed to having textbooks synthesize information and present it to you with the bias of a team of writers. A lot of time is spent teaching how to think rather than what to think.   Now, I definitely use textbooks for some of our subjects but I  also see the importance of going back to these primary documents in order to get the whole picture.  So, this means that instead of telling the kids that there were lots of Christian martyrs and that a man named Foxe wrote a book about them, we will read it.

A martyr is one who “bears witness.”    The modern connotation suggests untimely death as the ultimate price borne by those who wear the title but Foxe also included the emperor Constantine, John Wycliff and Martin Luther although they died naturally. He considered their work and suffering on account of Christ to sufficiently bear witness to his saving power.   Foxe was writing as an eyewitness to many of the horrors he recounted during the turbulent times in which he lived.  

So, again, why read this book?  Well, because it reminds us that often the church thrives when it is persecuted.  And just as importantly, when the church is strong and growing, it often leads to persecution.  Early church leader, Turtullian, said it best, “the blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church.”  This seems counterintuitive.  How could Jesus’ followers be strengthened by their own suffering and destruction?  Because that’s how God said it would be. Christians are commanded to follow in the willing sufferings of Christ. “For even unto this were you called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judges righteously: Who his own self bore our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes you were healed” (I Peter 2:21-24).

Jesus sacrificial death was sufficient.  Christians do not have to add to the finished work of Christ. So what is the point of their sharing in His suffering and death on account of the gospel?  It is this.  The blood of the martyrs, sacrificed willingly and with joy, is the most powerful witness to the truth, love and power of Christ this side of heaven.

After reading 400 pages of the testimonies of a host of saints who followed Christ even unto death, it causes me to contemplate a couple of questions.  Am I prepared to stand firm for Christ to the end and joyfully embrace suffering, persecution and even death for the sake of the gospel?  Am I being faithful to pray for the persecuted church of today?  More importantly, if someone accused me of being a follower of Jesus, would there be enough evidence in my life to condemn me?

Till Death Do Us Part

2 Timothy 4:3

“For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine.  Instead, to suit their own desires they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.” 

Marriage is difficult.  Even under the best of circumstances, there are challenges for every couple.  Add an illness like Alzheimer’s or cancer, or an accident that leaves one partner disabled, and the stress grows exponentially.  That’s why God requires us to enter into a covenant with our spouse.  When we say “I do”, we are promising that we will stay united with our spouse in sickness or health, for richer or poorer.  It comes off the lips so easily on our wedding day but what happens when we are faced with the realities of this promise?  Countless couples are doing just that. 

This week,(9/15/11) Pat Robertson said that Alzheimer’s is a "kind of death" that makes divorce justifiable.   On air, he counseled a man that it would be understandable to divorce his wife and marry another woman. The Alzheimers had altered the wife he knew.  She was nothing like the woman he had fallen in love with years ago.  She couldn’t remember him anymore.  

Robertson’s advice is completely contradictory to everything we read in scripture.  Marriage is a depiction of Christ’s sacrificial love for us, his church. (Ephesians 5:25-32)  He promises never to leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)  He loves us unconditionally.  Even when we have no capacity to love Him back.  In fact, that is the way we came to Him- completely without merit.  Nothing to offer.   

            If God only loved us when we were perfect and loveable, who could stand?  His glory is made manifest in the fact that He loves us, not because of the righteous things we have done but because of His mercy.  (Titus 3:5)  God is love.  Love was demonstrated to us in the crucified form of Christ.  He sacrificed his very life for His Bride, who could give nothing in return.  Our marriages should be reflections of this profound mystery. 

            In Matthew 25, Jesus tells his disciples that when they demonstrated servant hearted, sacrificial love to the “least of these” they were doing it unto Him.  He also had a harsh rebuke and condemnation for those who chose to live for self.    We are created to bring Him glory but we don’t get to decide how He will demonstrate it in our lives. Trials are God’s way of making us mature and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4)  This is a mystery, but instead of looking for a way out of a trial  we should look to the Lord to walk us through the trial so that He can be glorified all the more.           

            Husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church.   (Ephesians 5:25)   This analogy makes it clear that divorce because of sickness, irreconcilable differences, decreased capacity to demonstrate love, lack of usefulness, or falling “out of love”, is not an option for believers. 

Never Forget

“The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. 
 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” Psalm 36:10-11

  Beside this verse in my Bible I have written- “Sept 15, 2011 read aloud at church after WTC, Pentagon, PA tragedy.”

  We were living at Camp Pendleton in southern California where my husband was stationed.  Our children were little- preschool age.  My brother-in-law, also a Marine, called me and told me to turn on the TV.  I knew instinctively that our lives would change from that day forward.  I knew we would go to war.

Ten years and, for our family, 4 deployments later, we are still a country at war.   My children, and countless others, have never known any other life. I have been so thankful, however, that we are a military family at this time in history.  Never before has the military family been so supported and provided for.  There are countless programs for children and families to help ease the pain of deployment and handle the challenges of reunions.  We have been blessed by overwhelming love and appreciation from friends, family, and church and sometimes even strangers.  The American people seem to understand the profound sacrifice that is being made by such a small percentage of our population, and I am grateful.  So, as difficult as it is to look at footage and be reminded of the horrific events of September 11, 2001, we must.  We cannot forget. We cannot become comfortable.  We have an obligation to remember and continue to support those who willingly put their lives on the line, and families on hold for the good of the country- whether they are in the military, law enforcement, firefighting or dispatchers. 

I recently read an article in Time magazine, sent to me by dear friends of ours.  It is called the New Greatest Generation and it details the resilience of military members who have returned home to lead and serve in their communities.  It is an encouragement to me.  God allows good things to come from bad circumstances.  As Joseph said to his brothers, who had sold him into slavery years before, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20. 

We mourn the lives lost on September 11^th but we are not without hope.  We also rejoice knowing that for many people, that event became the guidepost marking a time in their life when they either encountered God for the first time or renewed their faith in Jesus.  Tragedy points us to our frailty and to God’s saving power. 

The Amazing Collection: The Pentateuch

             Beginnings are important.  Knowing the history of something gives us a much deeper understanding of it.  The same is true of the Bible.  We often read the same books of the Bible over and over again because they are familiar and comforting but sometimes we miss out on the bigger picture and nuances in those books because we aren’t familiar with how it all began.  That’s why it is important to study the historical books of the Old Testament, the Pentateuch.  They tell us where we came from and where we are going.  All the way back in the first chapters of Genesis we start to see answers to life’s questions: How was the earth created? Who were the first people?  How did we get into such a terrible state of sin?  What is God’s plan for the world?  What is God’s plan for me?  God’s redemptive plan for mankind is laid out in the beginning and we can follow it all the way from Genesis to Revelation.

The Bible is an amazing collection of 66 books written over 2,000 years.   The first five books of the Old Testament form a complete literary unit called the Pentateuch, meaning, “five scrolls”. The Pentateuch is foundational to all the rest of scripture.   It is also called The Books of the Law , The Books of Moses and The Torah.   Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy are sequential.  Each book picks up where the last one left off.   For many years, the Pentateuch was Israel’s only scripture.  Israelites were to meditate upon it (Joshua 1:8), teach it to their children (Deuteronomy 6:4-6 and read it publicly (Nehemiah 8:1).  It is eluded to thousands of times in the Old and New Testament. 

  God promised Abraham that his family would become a great nation, his descendants would be given land and that his descendant would bless all the families of the earth (Genesis 12:1-3).  In the New Testament, Jesus is revealed as the long awaited descendant- the Messiah.  In the Pentateuch, we see pictures of Jesus. In Genesis, the book of beginnings, we see that Jesus is the Seed of Eve and the Ram at Abraham’s altar.  In Exodus, the book of deliverance, we see that Jesus is our Passover Lamb.  In Leviticus, the book of holiness, He is Our High Priest.  Numbers is the book of unbelief, and we see Jesus as the Cloud by day and Pillar of Fire by night.  In Deuteronomy, the book of obedience, Jesus is the City of our Refuge. 

              Would you like to have a better understanding of the Bible?  A great way to start would be to join us as we study the five foundational books of the Pentateuch.  You haven't missed much- we've only had one meeting so far.  Come join us at 7 pm on Wednesday evenings at First Presbyterian Church of Honolulu. The study lasts for five weeks (till Oct 12). Childcare is available.